


For Her Amusement

by mayorite



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Crack Angst, Crack and Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Other, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-03-30 11:02:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3934360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayorite/pseuds/mayorite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wish I knew myself</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love at First Ironing

**Author's Note:**

> My friend and I planned this story out, and I am writing it because she is in the middle of her own fan fiction and she wants to evaluate my ability. 
> 
> Also, this is my first fan fiction, so sorry if it isn't that good.

John woke up. He decided to stay on the golden floor. It was usually cold, but warm now, probably due to him laying in the same spot for about 8 hours. Being on the same ship for two years is reeeeeeeeally boring. After the first year, it gets kinda dull. You've seen everything on the ship, know the layout, and may have caused a few accidents on the way. Anyways, John was looking around, studying everything he already knew. He looked at his pants, and noticed they needed to be ironed. It almost seemed like the pants we're calling to be ironed. He always noticed really small things that didn't matter when he was bored. So he decided to iron his pants, just one problem. All the irons were put in the fire, so je was kinda screwed there. But then he remembered he had his Wrinklefucker that he alchemized like a two years ago. He took off his pants and pulled out his Wrinklefucker and started hammering his pants. He couldn't believe it actually worked. The pants couldn't believe it. She was a virgin and was getting nailed by this guy she had barely met. They were both just objects, but she felt like they were ment to be. She loved the feeling of being ironed. It felt soooooooo good. She knew he loved it too. She was just glad she wasn't hammered because she wanted to remember every moment of it. The hammer loved his lesser purpose being used. He couldn't believe he had just started slamming her. He was a virgin, so how does he know what to do. Maybe he started because they were ment to be. He had barely known her but he knew he loved her more than any nail out there. He had always knew he was different, that he swung a different way than the rest. John was almost done ironing his pants. Just one more slam and he was done. As he slammed it the last time, it bounced out the window, where it went, no one knew.


	2. Hammertoss

But the hammer knew. The hammer had flown all the way across paradox space to hit the head of a not so innocent KARKAT VANTAS. Once the hammer had hit Krakat square on the head, he shouted "THE FUCK IS THIS, THE FUCK DID IT COME FROM." He turned to Dave and said "HERE YOU FUCKING GO STRIDER, DO WITH IT WHAT YOU WILL." Dave then proceeded to give it to Rose. Dave then rushed back to snop Karkat on the forehead. Then they snip snopped all night. Meanwhile, unbenonced to Strider, he had tossed the hammer to Rose, she was snop snipping with Kanaya. Rose facepalms herself as Kanaya examines the Wrinklefucker. Rose then remembered that John prototyped it a while back. She decided to keep it and let Kanaya use it for her fashion endeavors. Then Rose and Kanaya went back to snoop snupping. The next day, Rose asked Karkat to remind her to give it back to John when they meet up again, and So he kept his promise through both a retcon and about a year and a half of bullshitery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John's pant's perspective is next


	3. When Will my Husband Return From the War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what i do with my life now

I cant believe that little hoe left me, the bluest of pants. I thought those 3 minutes and 30 seconds we had together were special. He flattened me in all the right places. It felt so good. But its just the past. Ill just have to let it gooooooooo. My heart is now ice cooOOoold. its actually pretty cold without him. and where is my leg holder. I hope he comes soon. I dont want to freeze over. I just wanted a hot iron to sit by when im not being warmed. I dont think I'll ever be next to a hot iron again. I guess I'll just wait on this pyramid and neon land until someone comes back.

Well shit. It's been three years and now people are starting to come in. But still not my iron honey bunches. When will he return from the war. Wow, waiting has changed me. I hated him but now i kinda miss him. Was it my fault? I believe so. I pushed him away with centrifical force. I still miss him. How will he get back. At that moment i saw some albino cool kid. And he was carrying... MY HAMMER BAE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for it being so short, but im trying to keep on with me taking only an hour to write each chapter

**Author's Note:**

> This is a multichapter fic, and it will be following the adventures of Wrinklefucker and John's pants. So strap in.


End file.
